Thursday, February 22, 2007

Lets Talk Topless

You don't need to peep at us through the keyhole….come on in and make yourself comfortable with the girls from the second classiest strip club on the exit 299 off ramp. Its time for

Lets Talk Topless!

With your hostess, the white version of Oprah if Oprah was the most popular dancer at The Beaver Dam on the Wedensday afternoon shifts…its Destiny Star. And I'm her co-host Frankie Sin HOTra. Whoo Hooo! Yah! Oh yeah!

Destiny- Holly Crap Frankie…calm down for fucking crying out loud! Are you high or what?

Frankie-Oh yeah! Instead of a real tip, I let a grabby trucker put these purple pills in my panties and the ones that didn't fall out and roll all over the stage into that grabby bitch Tiffany's janky hands I made sure to grab up myself and I think I should a started with one and not 3, but its ok cuz I enjoy being really fudged up. I said Fudged up instead of fucked up so you can't blame me for this not being a family friendly show cuz you don't get any friendlier to the family than me.

Destiny- So you didn't even bother to think that the host of the show might need a little pick me up?

Frankie-Oh gosh Amber, I'm sorry. I thought you had an AA meeting tonight. That's why you weren't drinking anything harder than rum and cokes for lunch.

Destiny- Yeah, Alcoholics Anonymous. Not prescription speed anonymous. Anyway….Thank you all for checking us out and helping make our show not the lowest rated show on Channel 214!! I know your sacrificing a lot what with it being the last episode of The OC on channel 13 and all.

Frankie- I would totally be watching The OC if I could focus long enough on one thing to….if I ….I totally love your new boobs Amber. They are so much bigger than mine.

Destiny - And softer too. Thanks. Yours are…not as bad as everyone said.. I'm sure the feeling will come back eventually.

Frankie- I hope not, I like em like this. Darrel can be grabby McGrabby all night long and it doesn't even wake me up anymore. Or make me dream of when I was young and my uncle Rob used to baby-sit me on…

Destiny -OK! No more remembering things. That always leads to recovered memories and we've already done 3 shows on Satanic Cults from our Childhoods and at least a weeks worth on your uncle Rob.

Frankie- I went to a satanic preschool.

Destiny-Duh Frankie!It was the 80's everybody went to a satanic preschool. Let's talk about something happy. So that we can bounce around all happy like so that all the gentlemen watching feel more inclined to come to the Beaver Dam this Wednesday Morning for all you can eat shrimp and half price lap dances! Whoo Hooo! Watch me bounce!

Frankie-Did you take one of my purple pills?

Destiny- Just one. Damn these are good! Come stop in tonight for our Pretty Presidents Day Pussy Cat Propaganda Party! You've never seen Abe Lincoln like this! That was a lot of P's in one sentence. So do you have any current events you want to chat about Frankie?

Frankie-I don't really follow stuff like that. But I do have some recent news items on my mind. Who do you think has been cutting up all those girls?

Destiny - Are we talking about the Stripper Ripper?

Frankie- the Stripper Ripper got caught over two weeks ago Amber, old news. It's the exit 299 off ramp Ripper that I'm worried about. But the good news is he doesn't seem to just hate us dancers. He hates hookers and hooker/dancers too.

Destiny -Or she. The exit 299 off ramp Ripper could easily be a girl too. Women are just as good as men when it comes to killing things.

Frankie-What are you suggesting Amber? Are you saying that you or I could have attacked that bitch Bambi last Monday and made it so she won't be stealing the show ever again with her new smile that off ramp Ripper gave her? Because it would almost be impossible to get the job done and be back home in time to watch my stories. And you know I'm not missing my stories for anyone. Although it would be worth it to fix that bitch Bambi's wagon. Yes sir. It was worth it.

Destiny -uh…ok. I just meant that it could be you or some other dancer like our first guest Nakita, from the so called classiest gentlemen's club on the exit 299 off ramp…The Muffin Spot. Well aren't you pretty Miss Nakita.

Nakita- Whatever Bitch. I'm just here to promote the live sex show at The Muffin Spot this Sunday…and it doesn't start until after most folks get out of church, so there's no conflict there. And I am not…I repeat I am NOT the Exit 299 off Ramp Ripper.

Destiny -It's funny, but I don't believe liars Nakita..If that's your real name. Apparently you have a name you use on stage and one you use elsewhere. It's like your leading a double life…Nadine!

Nakita-It's called a stage name you twat! Not all of our moms had the foresight to name us for stripping.

Frankie-I guess our Mama's just saw bigger things for us than yours did Miss Nadine of The Brookstone Apartments number 33A.

Nakita-You Bitch! I'll cut you!

Frankie-Not if I cut you first.

Destiny -Unfortunately we are out of time. Tune in next week to see who got cut up most in the knife fight we're fixing to have. And remember all you can eat shrimp Wednesday mornings at the Beaver Dam!!

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