quid pro quo 2. Sluts, Whores, sexual definitions and porn!

Ok, in my last blog I bitched about the times when someone expects you to be representative for the whole gay community because in many ways I'm not . But I realize that there are generalizations and stereotypes for a reason, because in many ways I am typical or at least similar. And another Gemini trait is enjoying passing on information...and some of it's true even. So...why don't we share our info with each other.
1. What do you define as sex? In other words..when I am asked how many sexual partners I've had in my life I honestly have no clue. Guess a big number. Now times it by 3 and we might be close. But realize that I'm not talking about people I've fucked or been fucked by. I don't have penetrative sex every time I mess around with somebody. If we are only counting people I've fucked the number is significantly lower. It's probably still in Whore Country, but lower. Most straight friends and lots of the gay ones I've talked to only count fucking as sex. Anything else is irrelevant. But If I'm getting naked with someone and fooling around and getting off..it counts as something. I think it's all kind of arbitrary. You got sexual with someone. Not counting acts such as oral sex only really means anything if your trying to protect your reputation or your (gasp!) virginity! It just seems really middle school to me, so I don't distinguish between the type of sex act. It's all basically sex to me. But...other people think different due to their personal experiences. What do you think?
2. FYI- when I use words like whore and slut I don't mean them derogatory. I mean them in the most sex positive way. Unless the context is you not respecting me in terms of my boyfriend. Then I mean slut as in you dirty skank ho. I know it can be confusing..so I will try to use skank or ho when I'm using it negatively. And then it has nothing to do with how much sex you have with how many partners. It's more of a character thing. Or a angry thing on my part. So next question...what do the words slut or whore mean to you (other than a slut gives it away when a whore gets something else out of the deal). When is a large number of partners too many or too gross or too slutty whorish?
3.I read a study on the differences between gay and straight porn, and it was fascinating. I could probably just blog about that sometime. One difference is the amount of kissing actually. Apparently, and I don't have much first hand experience with straight porn, there isn't much kissing in them. There's not kissing in every gay porn...but its usually there. Is there no kissing in other porn? I've heard another difference is the attractiveness of the guys. I have conflicting accounts on this though. I've been told that the men in gay porn are a lot hotter, with better bodies because straight men don't want to see hot guys. It also makes it more of an everyman kinda role being played on the screen. But I've had lots of gay men tell me the opposite. I hear the guys in bi porn are the hottest with the biggest dicks. I'm no virgin to porn at all...but it's usually only gay porn. I know guys that have bi porn on the off chance they get a straight or bi guy over, but I always feel kinda wigged out watching it. Like I'm violating the girl and myself by watching her. I can see the nastiest degrading sex with two or more guys and don't feel that way however. But I respect women...heh.Plus vagina kinda turns me off. If your straight can you watch gay porn? Bi? My friend Melissa used to be memorized by the gay porn playing at Silverado on the TV's when we went for a drink. I always found that interesting. 'But I don't imagine that two guys fucking is usually the same for women as lesbian porn is for most men. Excuse me...thats Man made lesbian porn. Lesbian made lesbian porn in a whole different ballgame. (it's a ball free game actually).
The study also stated that porn is a lot more taboo in the hetero world than in the gay society. I know for me and most gay men I watch porn with that its a lot weirder if you don't have any than if you have a library of it. What do you think?
I guess I have a lot of topics here. Tell me your thoughts on porn in relation to this if you would. So if you want to join in ..please....we're talking about sluts and whores and is what do you define as sex and are you watching porn while doing it? lol

A quid pro quo

2:16 PM - A quid pro quo
Current mood: contemplative

The idea that I represent the "gay community" for some people has always been kind of weird. On one hand, it appeals to the Gemini in me that in certain circles I am considered exotic, scandalous, risqué and a curiosity. I even sometimes wear the badge of slut/deviant/ perv with pride. Thinking of myself as some dangerous x rated soap opera villain is a lot more appealing to me than the virginal Sandra Dee that the audience is supposed to root for.
I've never really hung out with gay men in friendship type situations. For the most part I have a lot of close straight female friends (my best friend is a lesbian) and for many of them I was the only gay person they knew. I remember when I worked weekend doubles at a nursing home in McMinnville some of the girls (well, women. mostly my mom's age) would be fascinated with my exploits during the week. I was in a totally different world and had much more interesting and naughty stories to tell during our long weekends together. I enjoyed shocking them with such a tame story as going on stage and losing my pants and underwear for beads during Portland's Mardi Gras week and seeing how truly crazy they thought I was. But it feels creepy thinking about how that story might be retold later as a case study in the life of the typical homosexual. ("They like to get naked in public with all the other gays. My gay friend Brandon does")



I remember a couple years ago being kind of overly upset because a hot ex Mormon boy I had a weekend of excess with had moved onto someone I had introduced him too. (I have a fetish for ex Mormon boys. The few I have had the pleasure to know still had all the politeness and wholesome appearance but were the wildest beasts when you got them naked) I was telling my co-worker Vicky about it and she just couldn't keep up with the important details of the story. She would get stuck on aspects that I found to be minor details and I was losing patience explaining them.
"You had sex the first night you met?" She gasped. ..
anyway.,....
"He had sex with you and then with another guy the same day!!" she exclaimed, her eyes bulging.
Forget it!
Sometimes it feels like people in different subcultures are foreigners with ways different than my own. I would rather they be the curious picture snapping tourists than self righteous moralizer, but it can be tedious.
Usually though, it doesn't upset me.It's more funny than anything. I wrote a blog a couple months ago that got the attention of someone that has become my favorite myspace blogger and she pimped it out to her huge circle of friends.(shout out to all that). It was one of those 7 deadly turnoff's blogs and thankfully it caught her attention which led to a quite a few others making connections with me. I bring it up because I found it amusing that I got the comment frequently that it was nice to read about another perspective and that it was enlightening to get the gay perspective on these things. The funny part is how disturbing the idea that I be a representative would probably be for any number of people in the gay community. I don't bring this up to call out anyone who said that or that feels like that. It's just a disclaimer that I may be a representative for some people, but I'm not the GLBT community's official representative. At least not yet
It's just a curiosity I am musing on today. It has actually brought up a lot of ideas I want to blog about, and I'm finding it hard to reign them all into one cohesive blog, so I think I'm going to break it up into a few topics. And since I'm on a blogging roll look for them real soon. I just want to explore the ideas of subgroups, the differences between us, and what we can learn from each other . A quid pro quo if you will. Oh yeah...I have a few things I want to find out too. Don't think you just get to be a voyeur in all this. I like to watch too. Remember , I'm a deviant perv. And proud of it.

ABC's of Janky Sex H-J

ABC's of Janky Sex H-J (SBT)

I know this is late late late for Sex Blog Thursday...and that it's technically Friday now..but what the fuck.Continuing my ABC's of Janky sex....the next bit of impropriety is brought to you by the letter H..

H is for Hippy Sex- When I first moved to Portland I rented a room in a big house that was mostly occupied by other gay men. Throughout the 5 years I lived there some straight and bi guys also rented rooms as well as one granola lesbian. This story concerns one straight hippy boy who lived in the room next to mine for about 6 months. Lets call him T.J. He was a very cute, open minded 18yo from New Jersey, whose general enthusiasm was contagious...even if his love for Phish was not. He was a short skinny blond with beautiful blond hair and a cute Jersey accent. He really was a sweet kid. One night we were in my room playing Soul Caliber on my soon to be obsolete DreamCast when he turned to me and asked if I could do him a favor. I thought he was going to ask to use my computer, so it really threw me for a loop when the words that came out of his mouth were "Will you fuck me?" Whaa huh what?

I asked him to clarify, just in case I heard wrong but he asked again. Afraid of taking advantage due to his extreme stoned state I questioned him responsiblly. Was he sure thats what he wanted? Maybe he wanted to start out slower, like getting a blow job. Had he done anything like that before? Apparantly he knew what he wanted. He was curious about what it felt like to be fucked. He wasn't interested in kissing (the curious guys never are). He had practiced with a wine bottle (I immediately informed him of the inherent dangers with that) and wanted to try the real thing.

Did I mention just how freaking cute he was? He didn't have to convince me to much and we soon got naked. He wasn't into kissing, but boy could he give a nice blowjob for a beginner..and I believe it was his first time. The actual fucking proved a bit more difficult. He was impossibly tight, as many virgins tend to be especially at his size. He was about 5'7" and maybe 120 lbs. I only managed to get about halfway in before we stopped. The 69 was fun though. We tried one other time in the shower when we were all soaped up, and that worked a little better although he was never fully relaxed enough to enjoy it completly.

The best part of it was the was he reacted to the experience. There was no guilty weirdness or avoiding me in the hall. He acted like he always did afterwards with much less self consciousness that you would expect in someone after a experimental sexual experience. That was especially impressive considering his age and the social stigmatizing nature of the whole thing. I wouldn't have minded a few more oral sex situations though.

I is for Intersexual- Here is a fact you may or may not know. For every birth that turns out "normal" boys and girls a small percentage of baby's are born in a category known as Intersexuals. In very simple terms this usually means that the xx chromosome girl has an abnormally large clitoris and the xy chromosome boy has a very tiny penis. When this happens in the United States the standard procedure is to make the girl with the big clit into a boy and the boy with the tiny penis into a girl. This can create all kinds of messes later in life when, for example, the child who looks like a boy feels more like a girl. There are groups on both sides of the debate who make very good arguments, but thats not what I'm writing about. That was just the background for my little story.

When I was about 25 I met this really cute Mexican boy downtown and we ended up back at my studio on campus. He was very charming, good looking and quite intelligent. I was getting really turned on when he tried to teach me some kinky Spanish phrases. He was the picture of confidence until the cloths started coming off. Once he was naked it was impossiblle to get him to stop covering his genitals with his hands. The guy standing naked in my room was an intersexual.

It turns out that he came from a wealthy family from Mexico City, and as is the case for many non-US countries they have different procedures when a baby is born as an intersexual. In this case the let him remain his natural sex without any kind of enhancement to the sexual bits. This was a muscular, handsome, young Latino man with a penis that was probably an inch long, at the most. I was pretty buzzed, and also still turned on by him anyway and could have rolled with the punches. It wasn't his small dick that killed the mood...it was his shame because of it. For most of the time we were fooling around his hand stayed in a deadlock around that area, afraid of me getting too good of a look at it. I'm not coming out on either side of the intersexual debate, but I thought that the emotional scars on this great guy were tragic.

More infor about intersexuals is available on the following websites....being intersexual and the NOVA website for starters.

J is for Jiffy Peanut Butter- What is Jiffy doing on my sex list? It is one of the many items I tried to use as a masturbation aid when I was new to the sport of jerking off that I strongly caution others not to use. In the 6th grade I was trying all kinds of household items in many ways that they were never intended to be used. Before I knew about lube, I tried to substitute a good many other things. My friend Mike had told me about shaving cream (he said it felt just like pussy. I wasn't that much interested in pussy, and I don't think he even knew what pussy felt like, but shaving cream worked ok.) Of course I had my share of jacking to baby oil (still love me some baby oil wrestling) vasoline, cocoa butter, etc. Crisco works in a pinch. Once when I was 18 me and Christian even resorted to peppermint flavored fake blood that I had from some drama experience. I have heard some horror stories involving Icey Hot, but since I never went that route peanut butter is probably the lamest thing I've ever used in place of lube. In case your wondering...it doesn't work. Especially the chunky kind

.

for past entries click on the link for A-D and E-G

SBT-Cocaine Mama..or the first and last time i had sex with a woman

Cocaine Mama...or the first and last time i had sex with a woman

The year was 1993. Bill Clinton had just recently taken office. The Rodney King verdict had ignited race riots a few months earlier. The Meatloaf song of mysterious meaning "I Would Do Anything For Love…" was all over the radio and I was still clinging onto the idea that I was bi-sexual even though I thought about the economic state of China more than I thought about getting pussy...which is to say not at all...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I had recently graduated from high school and moved from Oregon to the foreign country of Texas to live with my "best friend" who I thought I was in love with ever since we had met my senior year and had fooled around with any chance I could get since then. Which is also to say, not very much

.

Christian was probably the very worst person I could have attached all my crazy needy insecure "love" onto being that he could probably check off most of the requirements on those lists of qualities held by sociopaths and compulsive lairs. Also Christian probably wasn't gay and I doubt he was all that bi either. But I would do anything to get one of those rare moments of sex with him. I shudder to think of it, but I think at a low point in my Christian addiction I even offered to pay him for sex. I offered more than he was worth, that's for sure, but he still turned me down. This scary desire to be close to him was the catalyst for my one and only sexual experience with a girl (well Amy didn't count. she was 8 and I was 9 and I think she made me do what we did.)

When Christian and me had started our sick little relationship the previous year he was like a glass of water for someone dying of thirst in the desert. The desert being a very small town and the water being the only sex I had since starting high school. It didn't matter that the water was a little tainted and there wasn't nearly enough of it. I saw him as my only chance at happiness and I was determined to be with him and only him. As impossible as that mission was, I choose to accept it.

There was some awesome sex when I first got to Texas and things seemed ideal...but that ended pretty quickly and he was very assertively not gay. But then neither was I , right? I was bi! Just don't make me prove it.

One night Christian brought back a girl who worked across the street at the Whataburger and they did some fooling around on the forest green papasan couch in the little apartment we shared. (I just had to throw in the forest green papasan couch to really set the period. That was so 1993.)

They had tried to have sex the night before but all the acid they had dropped led to her vagina becoming a scary monster and they had to stop. He was determined they would fuck that night.

She was a pretty blonde girl with nice boobs. I think she was about our age although she was married and had recently had a baby a couple months earlier. It also seems like they were both on coke that night and I was still just saying no.

They were making out on the couch while I sat pretending to read across the room. Suddenly she got it in her head that I might be fun to play with, undoubtedly due to all the coke they were snorting. She kept trying to get me to kiss her and of course I did not want the same thing.

At that time I was still holding onto a strong sense of insecurity disguised as morals. and used that as my excuse to turn her down. I kept pointing out the ring on her finger as the reason I didn't want to do anything. If she wasn't married I'd be fucking her this way from Sunday, but I don't mess around with married women. Uh..yeah...did I even believe that?

Well this girl played hardball and refused to have sex with Christian unless I would come over and kiss her. This set a fire under his butt to get me to hurry up and put my tongue in her mouth.

Finally I gave into the peer pressure, I usually did. It was a combination of Christian slyly flirting with me and gently touching me, but kind of on the down low, and the song that was playing on the stereo. It was "Touch Me" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." That song successfully unleashed my evil twin and he decided that he could take a crack at this girl

.

So I started kissing her while Susan Sarranden proclaimed her need to feel dirty and before I knew it clothes were coming off. That was generally the pattern with me then. Christian and I had started with a kiss in his car and in light speed my lips were wrapped around his cock. The same principal was working here except my mouth was sucking on a girls nipple this time.

A lot of it is kind of a blur. I remember it was difficult to get hard until I focused on Christian's dick and managed to get a few forbidden touches of his body when she was otherwise occupied and that did the trick. Although it was hard to get hard, once I was it felt really nice being inside of her. I remember she also made a lot more noise when I was fucking her than when he was, which I took some pride in. I remember that after years of preaching safe sex to my friends that were actually sexually active that none of us even thought of using a condom. I know we both cam in her. so there's the weird soap opera chance I have a kid out there...but since I don't live on "Days of Our Lives" I kind of doubt it.

One major point that stands out in my memory is that while I can enjoy kissing a girl and even like playing with her tits, that I can not force myself to go down on here. I tried. I'm not sure if I even got as far as tasting it, but my mouth was back up to her inoffensive breasts faster than you can say lickety split...which is just what Christian kept doing. Licking her...well her split. lol. He seemed to like it so I didn't return down there. Ever again.

It was a good experience. I'm glad I did it once. But like eating escargot or trying heroin it wasn't an experience I ever want to repeat again

Archives-Sexual horoscope for week of 5/17/07

5:47 PM - your sexual horoscope for the week of may 17,2007

Aries- I see big things in your future Aries, but only if you want to spend 39.99 on those awesome new penile enlargements that keep popping up in your email inbox. And tell them who sent you, 'cuz I supposedly get a cut. But don't you worry yourself about that, just remember Big Thing(s) Aries, Big! And for you girley rams, I hear...er I ugh "see" they work in the bust type area as well.

Taurus- sex and work do not mix Taurus. Well,unless of course you happen to be an escort. Otherwise it's a big no no! I guess they also do kinda mix if you happen to be a high-tech hooker as seen on Craigslist. Oh don't forget the sex therapists. Or the sex educators. Well if we're making a list theres also porn stars, anyone in advertising,strippers, and most workers at massage parlors. Sex if probably some kind of job perk if your a drug dealer. Sex is all in a days work if your a reviewer of porn movies, work in a sex shop, are a sex researcher, are a....ok forget what I said about sex and work not mixing.

Gemini- The details are a little fuzzy Gemini, but I see you jumping half naked out of a big cake this week. Either your moonlighting as a stripper at some sexy parties, or your really trying to scare a loved one into staying on that no sweets diet.

Cancer- You and I have a few things to clear up. What do you think I could be talking about? No, it's not because you forgot to tell me how good I looked the other night, but now that you mention it I did look pretty good. Give up? You forgot to leave me a little "gift" on the bed stand after my last visit in which you yourself say I looked particularly good. Tskk tskk. Some people have businesses to run Cancer, and I'm sure you don't want ..some people to have to go to...some other people like your wife for the balance, now do you?

Leo-The good news is your parents will finally sit you down for that long delayed chat about the birds and the bees this week. The bad news is it's about 2 decades too late and the last few questions you still have about the subject are not one's you want answered by them.

Virgo- Good news Virgo, only one more punch on your card and you get a free hour with one of the Lusty Ladies and/or Gentlemen of the Magic Massage Parlor of your choice. Don't forget about our 2 for Tuesday specials.

Libra- I see a few drinks over at the home of an old friend who has a taste for body shaving. As in shaving your body. Anyway, thats not the unusual part. I'm also seeing you getting your picture taken while "handcuffed" to a towel rack wearing some cutesy trick handcuffs you happened to take from your partners closet. I guess thats not so strange for you either, but the real cute part is the look on your face when you discover those handcuffs aren't so tricky and your friend needs to call the locksmith before his kids get home for college around noon and your handcuffed to the towel rack completely shaved and naked except for the Robin (as in Batman) mask and cape. Let me tell you something..about the same thing happened to me once in a little cottage in Lake Oswego....

Scorpio- Nothing new to report this week scorpio. You will have your usual hot and wild sex on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday. What about Monday? Looks like you'll be plotting some kind of revenge..oh and then move on to some hot and wild sex. You Crazy Scorpio's!That didn't just piss you off did it? Cuz I really hate it when I accidentally piss you off. Especially since we have this whole week of sex planned.

Sagittarius-Do you remember what happened this last spring break Sag? I didn't think so. Fortunately you will just have to ask any of the guys that purchased this last edition of Girls Gone Really Damn Wild. I have a feeling they can fill you in on the details.

Capricorn- You will become involved in a hot, juicy political sex scandal that will make Monica Lewinsky look like June Cleaver. Unfortunately it will also involve the not so lovely Dick Chaney. On the bright side you could be taking down a whole evil like organization and appear on Oprah. But is it worth it?

Aquarius- Your sign is the water bearer Aquarius and it's a fact that you swim like a graceful little frog. You excel at water polo, Marco polo and the game where someone pretends to be Jaws swimming around the pool while everybody else tries to not get knocked off their inflatable recliners. So you are thrilled when you see a personal ad online seeking watersport enthusiasts and quickly respond. Let me know what you think afterwards water bearer.

Pisces- A graceful little frog just responded to that ad you have online Pisces..go check your mail (see Aquarius above).

7 Ways to Turn me on

Friday, May 04, 2007

MY 7 Big Turn ons 7 things that turn me on (as of noon 5/3/07) Thanks for all the feedback on the 7 Deadly Turn offs I posted yesterday. It was just a quick thing I didn't expect to be read much and it probably got me as many comments than I got with the last 4 months of blogs combined. who knew people enjoyed reading about other peoples sex lives so much? I think I might really be on to something here. Apparently sex sells. Who would have thought it. 1. I could say my biggest turn on is a guys mind, or his eyes or some bullshit about his feelings (ugh...FYI feelings can be so gay they give me sugar shock sometimes) but my number one turn on is probably a nice ass! I am definitely an ass man. I can go nuts (literally) on a guys ass and do things that you don't repeat for decent company, but if a guys ass doesn't do it for me, I don't do anything for it. Firm, round, bubbly, and above all clean are great adjectives to describe my dream butt. Sorry, can't be fat...well its all fat, but no fat thats not pretty. And no flat asses. A great ass needs some personality. Its gotta have some pep and some perk and just the right bounce. If I ever get any cosmetic surgery done, its going to be ass implants. I mean its pretty nice if I do say so myself...but I don't want a droopy old man ass in 30 years and I don't want to exercise either. so implants it is. By the way my boyfriend has one of the hottest asses I've ever met. .. .. 2. Turn on number two is....a combo of creativity, fun, and imagination. I love trying new things, talking about hot fantasies, listening to stories with a bit of an edge. Sex should be fun. Any sex that inspires that feeling of doing something new and crazy fills me with that feeling that I had way back when giving a blow job felt like a dangerous new activity. I especially admire those guys that go all over the city to very public places and get their pictures taken totally naked. Thats so hot. I will get some pics like that someday...I just need to find the right partner in crime for that. Yes I already have a boyfriend kind of partner...he just doesn't get into that particular fantasy like me and its best to save that craziness for someone really turned on by it, not doing it just for me. I guess that leads me to my next turn on.... 3. Other peoples turn ons turn me on. If Cain isn't really into taking naked pictures outside the Chinese restaurant Hung Far Low (yep...its a real place) then I don't get turned on doing that with him. Enthusiasm is contagious...so is desire. If I'm talking to someone about something that drives them wild...it kinda drives me wild. It's almost like I'm Peter from Heros (except I'm a huge dork.)absorbing other peoples powers...except I'm temporarily taking on their kinks and perversions. I'm a kinky freaky sponge. Seriously, if I am doing something that is really getting a hot reaction for the guy I'm doing it for, that makes me so turned on its amazing. I wouldn't get off making someone suck on my toes, for example, if they weren't nursing a foot fetish. It wouldn't do anything for me. But if someone goes nuts for that....I can go a little nuts myself. 4. Give me a P. give me an ER now give me a VERTS! what are you giving me? PERVERTS! unless your thing is Scat, or Blood or Electricity (things that freak me out, not turn me on) than I welcome most other freaky pervs and kinky deviants. I might not want to do it, but I will sure as heck watch. And listen. And ask lots of questions. Continuing a theme, if its out of the ordinary, dangerous, taboo, risky, then it ingites a spark of lust in me that feels great. 5. this should be number one....its a Good Kisser. The way someone kisses can make or break the whole act of sex, its not even funny. If there is no kissing I might have fun..but there is a glass ceiling I hit and I don't get any more turned on. I just don't. But when there is good, hot, spit swapping tongue action happening I can feel the passion rise up to a boiling point where I have to have this person, or let them have me. Kissing is the ingredient that can send it over the top for me. In my opinion a good kisser requires some compromising and flexibility. Pay attention to how the other guy is kissing and make it mesh better with how your kissing. The worst kissers don't have a clue to whats going on or they would be switching up their styles when it obviously isn't working. Have you ever made out with a cow kisser? He licks his big old tongue practically over your face like hes licking a salt lick. You get wet and feel yucky and never make a connection as he moves on to trying to eat your face slobbering all over you. Is the lizard any better? He keeps his mouth pursed tightly shut except for a few reptile like flickers with his tongue like hes hunting flies in your mouth...but god forbid your tongue touch the inside of his mouth. But a good kiss....it makes me drunk with passion and desperate to consume this person's kiss like a junkie getting a fix. Hot. 6. Dirty Talk. Sometimes dirty talk can be great if the one doing the talking does it right. The problem is that the right way to talk nasty is subjective. My partner in crime is usually really gifted in the art of hot talk. I mean he can drive me wild. But when he drifts off into cheesy porn star dialouge I can't help laughing hysterically and killing the mood. One of his lines that kills me is something about " hows your horny ass?" Say that out loud and tell me its not funny. He is not at a loss for admirer's, so even with the horny ass comment his game works for him. I just ask that he never type that cheesy 80's porn talk and credit it to me. I don't say that shit. 7. I have a thing for rockers. I love guys in bands, punks, guitar players, ...just rockers in general. I like the dirty torn jeans, piercings, the sleeves of tattoo's covering his arm and the chuck Taylors on his feet. I like guys who like good music, or music i consider respectable. He can be into Death Cab, The Shins, Modest Mouse, New Pornographers, Nirvana or the Beatles. Even if its not my thing I can find it cool. But if the only music he listens to is dance, trance, electronica, Brittney/Madonna/Celine Dion shit he doesn't inspire erections. Group hugs maybe, but not a hard on. It may be that that dirty rocker type isn't as visible in the gay community or at the typical gay bars and that type becomes rare and elusive, but that type makes me weak in the knees, and I like it . Ok...that was a ranty unplanned mess. Most of my turn ons seemed to follow a pattern though. New, original, dangerous, edgy, kinky, tatted and deviant. Oh, and a good kisser. But just remember just because I say something doesn't mean its true. That doesn't sound right. When I state something as fact I mean it when I say it, but a few minutes later when you catch me jerking off to a clone, pretty boy, vanilla porn about typical suburban sex don't call me a lier...I'm merely open minded. (But I won't change my mind on this...you won't catch me tossing off to generic twinkie porn featuring bad kissers with a Celine Dion soundtrack.)

the 36 hour erection

Sex blog Thursday embarassing story

My response to Buddha Mama's Sex Blog Thursday call for stories of most embarrassing sexual experience or sexual dysfunction stories for Sex blog Thursday. This story is a little bit of both.

A couple of weeks before Christmas of this year I messed around where I probably shouldn't have been messing. I took a Viagra like prescription that was totally not prescribed for me. It's called Trimix I believe and like Viagra it is supposed to give you a longer more satisfying erection. Well...I definitely can't say it didn't work.

The first nine hours of my monster erection weren't bad. I took the stuff at about 1am on Sunday night I believe. 12 hours later I had already ..um...finished my business and had been expecting "my guest" to get lost. But as I looked down it looked like my little friend had other plans. He was engorged with more blood than was probably healthy, standing straight up at attention like a teenager's might and had begun to throb painfully. This is about the time that I finally had to admit to my bf, Cain, what I had taken and that things were not fading away down there. (note..we have an sexually open relationship and had started all this with friends of ours while he was asleep. I wasn't confessing to cheating, I was admitting I took the trimix.) He was a little pissed but was more concerned with getting me to the hospital. After all, the commercials for Viagra say if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours to see a Doctor was 12 hours and counting. I refused to go see help because I had to be to work in a few hours and it was too late to call in. Instead I ran "it" under cold water in the bath and insisted that it was going down. But it wasn't.

At five i had to go in to work. Believe me, putting pants on and trying to contain the monster was not fun. It was in fact quite painful, but I was stubborn about not calling in and I did my best . I was at work a few hours when it became clear that I could not do that all night. I had to keep my shirt pulled down over the front of my pants to keep anybody from noticing and I was really starting to hurt. Finally I took the manager on duty aside. "I'm going to tell you something that I really don't want to tell you," I started. I proceeded to tell her what happened and that I should go to the hospital. I called and got somebody to cover for me...after telling her about it too.

When i got home, Cain had been doing research online and suggested we try ice packs...putting pressure on some part of the leg, and other home remedy's. I insisted they were working as I lay on the couch with an icepack over my privates. I was really not wanting to go to the hospital and looking back I was being ridiculous and stupid. About ten the next morning Cain checked on me...And it was as hard as ever.It had been up for 34 hours about. We went to the hospital.

That was a traumatizing experience I don't want to relive again. The doctors and nurses at this religious hospital weren't all that sympathetic and they certainly weren't handling me with a soft touch for sure. Thats not totally true. One Dr. was very nice, and cute. I thought they were being mean and more rough than they had to be with putting the IV in for example. I told Cain, and when the Dr was about to do a procedure and asked him to leave Cain refused to go anywhere. So he stayed, and him and the Dr. got to be good buddies. He asked questions and even offered to help out at one point.

I got lots of shots all over my penis to numb it so they could draw the blood out. The blood was black and without any oxygen. Thats what I'm told by Cain, I wouldn't look. Well it didn't work and I ended up having to have surgery. To wrap it up I was put out while they put shunts under my testicle area to flow the blood away. When i woke up I had a black jock strap on which really tripped my post-surgery self out. I spent the night in the hospital with a blood pressure cuff wrapped around my area that would get pumped up every 2 hours to stimulate blood flow. Oh and it was a few more days before the thing looked like it was going down, because it was so swollen after surgery.,

On the plus side, I think they cut some muscles or something down there, because now when it is flaccid and at rest....its in a much bigger state of " rest" than before. 'to put it bluntly what used to be a grower and not a shower, is quite a bit showier. I hope that lasts. Other than that everything is back to normal down there. I couldn't have sex for over a month cuz of stitches and healing...but I'm lucky things turned out as well as they did. Oh..and I got told "I loveyou" for the fist time by the bf before I was wheeled into surgery, so that was not bad. I guess the moral is if you want a declaration of love and a bigger penis you should take somebody else's prescription and hope it turns out as good. uh yeah..i learned my lesson. Seriously, I will never touch anything like that again.. For fucking real.

sex survey

My Sex Survey Needs YOU!

come fill it out. It's fun. It's about you. And sex.

http://scout214.sex.sgizmo.com

Bitches and Whores! \

Your nothing But a Cheap Whore!":

Mean names for girls who like sex as much as the

next guy...

busy beaver, beggin' bitch, cockaholic, corner candy, cockpig, cum dumpster, floozie, ho, mattress back, skeezer, slut bag, spunk barge, hoochie mama, skank, "the village bike"..

Can you remember any of the other names they call you?

Just a Gigolo. Names for men who like their sexy time: Player, stud, Casanova, prostidude, man whore, HE-bitch, man-ho, whore master, him-bo,pimp, butt slut(for slutty gay bottoms), rake, womanizer...

The names they call us aren't all that bad.

janky Minks

FYI…
Women who go to college are more likely to enjoy oral sex than high school dropouts. Yah Higher Ed!

Fellatio ranks as the number one sex act desired by heterosexual men For gay men its as routine as flossing.Actually I know a few guys who probably have floss in their mouth less often than....you know.

Minks have sex for an average of 8 hours! They are also notorious meth abusers.

Chimpanzee's on the other hand last about 3 seconds. Quick draw mcgraws. .

75% of men ejaculate within 3 minutes of penetration. So much for that minute man myth.Yah Team


Sex words originating with our fellow Pervs in Japan

Bukkake–a. during group sex many men ejaculate on the body and face of someone. b.genre of porn.

Gokkun– the sound of swallowing to the Japanese. Gokkun girls usually play with the spent sperm before swallowing it. Nobody ever says "I wanna be a Gokkun girl when I grow up.".

Tamakeri: a fetish involving a pretty girl kicking men in the testicles. The slap sound is a major part of the attraction. Um….ok.

Real Porn Titles

Gang bangs of NewYork

-Ball the Presidents Men

The Texas Dildo Masquerade

-Great Muppet Raper,The

-Guess Who Came at Dinner

-Cum and Cummer

Joy Suck Club, The

-I know Who You Did Last Summer

-Lord of the Cock Ring
-Crouching Penis, Hidden vagina
-Queer and Present Danger
-Rosemary's Booby

Can any of the sick minds out there come up with some great classic Porn names? You come up with the name and we can put one on. Make it in the backyard with our super 8's like they did on the Brady Bunch.

Yet another advice column

now that I've fulfilled my dream of getting my own kind of horoscope out there to the people, I figured its time to work on another one I've had. A sex and relationship advice column more along the lines of Dan Savage than Ann Landers.And While I am not a licensed therapist I am more qualified than....say...You over there. I ended up getting a bachelors of science in Sociology, but psych was my major tor half of that time and I took as many human sexuality classes as i could....about 3.. Plus I'll just say that I am no virgin to....well to much of anything anymore.I was very new to the whole relationship thing until recently but I lucked out with a guy who is thoughtful, hot, full of integrity, and rarely raises his voice..unlike myself. Plus he's a big ol' whore , which allows me to be too if that's the mood I"m in. Point is...well point is its not gonna hurt you to send a letter and maybe it will be fun.. And informative. And after all, knowing is half the battle.

For now, I'm stealing some letters written to Dan Savage for Savage Love...but I'm not gonna read his responses until mine are done.Lets go.

I hope you post this note as a warning. I recommend that everybody stay away from Craigslist. When I started looking at the personals on Craigslist, I was fascinated (there are some freaks out there), but I was also looking for pictures with bare female flesh. After I exhausted the pages for cities in the U.S., I started looking at ads posted in other countries. That's when I noticed that the same hot babe in Finland posted the same picture in six different U.S. states and four different countries.

She wasn't the only one posting the same ad in many different places. When I realized that all these offers for NSA sex were scams, I lost interest in even looking at the pictures. Your readers should know that hot anonymous sex is unlikely to occur—at least through Craigslist—and focus their efforts elsewhere.

Don't Be Fooled

My response- Don't be fooled, you can start off by not being a whiner. Maybe it was just me but your tone was kinda like the kid that tattles on other kids, in this case Craigslist, hoping he will come across as a much better person by the adult he's narcing to.. That kid doesn't have many friends for a reason. Anyway...The main point I wanted to make was ...Speak for yourself. I don't know first hand what the odds are for a straight man trying to get a NSA hookup on Craigslist. I have read some pretty whoreish ads that are supposedly left by women. (And I mean whorish in the best possible way. It always makes me a little warm inside when a woman is in touch with want she wants and secure enough to put up an ad for a gang bang. Actually come to think of it that was probably written by a man) I have had plenty of hot times hooking up off of CraigsList as a gay man. (One of my most memorable being an unbelievably attractive ex-Mormon boy who still had all the manners and charm he was raised with, but who could unleash a unbridled sex monster inside. The result was something like "Please rape me) Granted, with Phone and/or internet access any decent looking gay guy with the right attitude can have a hookup ready to go in 15minutes, less if he doesn't have a shopping list of qualities he Must have in a potential sex partner. I'm pretty sure it's not quite so easy for the straight guy, but it does happen and not every woman on there is a scam or a bot as they are called. Once you know what to look for its pretty easy to tell a real person from a lure to get you to a pay site.
I think the bigger question here has to do with the fact that you got so obsessed going through craigslist that you ran out of ads in your state, moved on to others and ended up having the entire lineup in Finland memorized. But hey...I can be irritating as fuck myself sometimes.

Currently listening : Back to Basics By Christina Aguilera Release date: By 15 August, 2006

Lets talk about sex. Sex Quotes

Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~Quentin Crisp

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave. ~Author Unknown

A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~Author Unknown

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact. ~Marlene Dietrich

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. ~Butch Hancock

Sex is God's joke on human beings. ~Bette Davis

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~Woody Allen

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. ~Louise Sammons

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. ~John Waters

Do you Measure up?

HOW Do You Compare

Are you obsessed with penis size? Always comparing yourself to the guys in the locker room, or the animals on the Discovery Channel? If you want to go from a Mosquito to a whale in just 6 weeks order my amazing new cream...Whale Cock© and watch the ladies come running. or uh...swimming...I never said the human ladies would dig it.


1. Humpback whale 10 ft
2. Elephant 5-6 ft
3. Bull 3 ft
4. Stallion 2 ft 6 in.
5. Rhinoceros 2 ft
6. Pig 18-20 in.
7. Man 6 in.
8. Gorilla 2 in.
9. Cat ¾ in.
10. Mosquito 1/100 in.

SOURCE: Leigh Rutledge, The Gay Book of Lists (Boston: Alyson Publication, 1987)

Wierd Sex

why limit yourself to people when there are so many other things you can be attraWhy limit yourself to people when there are so many other things you can be into....…

Spectophilia: sexual attraction to ghosts. Spooky!

Teratophilia: attraction to deformed or monstrous people. There really is someone out there for everybody..

Zoophillia: emotional/sexual attraction to animals. Kinda makes you think twice the term animal lover...

Plushophillia: sexual attraction to stuffed animals or people in animal costumes. Super cute!..

Pick a fetish

Do people shy away from you at parties? Do new acquaintances always forget your name? Maybe you need to make yourself more interesting. Liven up that wallflower personality. One sure way to do that is to develop a fetish. That's right, a peculiar sexual quirk that you often put all the focus on during lovemaking. It will be a hit choice for interesting cocktail party talk as long as its not overdone.It seems like everybody and their grandmother has a foot fetish or works part time as a dominatrix these days. Here are a few sexual oddity's that will separate you from the crowd.

Agalmatophillia- To qualify for this you only need to become sexually attracted to mannaquins and statues! Wasn't that an '80's movie?

Homilophilia- This is the term used for people who become sexually arouse while listening to or giving sermons and speeches.

titloculolinctus- This little gem would refer to the act of licking your lovers eyeball for sexual arousal. Yikes! Eye just don't get it.But I think my sister might have it!shhhh!

Abasiophilia:sexual attraction to people who use leg braces. Hip!

Apotemnophillia:You just need to develop an intense desire to be an amputee by removing a healthy appendage.This time next year I bet all the cool kids will be doing it.

Dendrophilia: This would be a sexual attraction to trees and other large plants. Right on
!

Toonophillia: This is you if you have a sexual arousal to cartoon characters and situations. Jinkies!

Who is your pick for cartoon character you would like to have some fun with? I'm gonna have to think about it...there are just so many, and they're just so easy. But if you can think of any let me know.
< >


Do you want their bodies? Do you think they're sexy? Come on sugar let me know. You know your developing a bad case of toonophillia.