Thursday, July 12, 2007

SBT-Cocaine Mama..or the first and last time i had sex with a woman

Cocaine Mama...or the first and last time i had sex with a woman

The year was 1993. Bill Clinton had just recently taken office. The Rodney King verdict had ignited race riots a few months earlier. The Meatloaf song of mysterious meaning "I Would Do Anything For Love…" was all over the radio and I was still clinging onto the idea that I was bi-sexual even though I thought about the economic state of China more than I thought about getting pussy...which is to say not at all...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I had recently graduated from high school and moved from Oregon to the foreign country of Texas to live with my "best friend" who I thought I was in love with ever since we had met my senior year and had fooled around with any chance I could get since then. Which is also to say, not very much

.

Christian was probably the very worst person I could have attached all my crazy needy insecure "love" onto being that he could probably check off most of the requirements on those lists of qualities held by sociopaths and compulsive lairs. Also Christian probably wasn't gay and I doubt he was all that bi either. But I would do anything to get one of those rare moments of sex with him. I shudder to think of it, but I think at a low point in my Christian addiction I even offered to pay him for sex. I offered more than he was worth, that's for sure, but he still turned me down. This scary desire to be close to him was the catalyst for my one and only sexual experience with a girl (well Amy didn't count. she was 8 and I was 9 and I think she made me do what we did.)

When Christian and me had started our sick little relationship the previous year he was like a glass of water for someone dying of thirst in the desert. The desert being a very small town and the water being the only sex I had since starting high school. It didn't matter that the water was a little tainted and there wasn't nearly enough of it. I saw him as my only chance at happiness and I was determined to be with him and only him. As impossible as that mission was, I choose to accept it.

There was some awesome sex when I first got to Texas and things seemed ideal...but that ended pretty quickly and he was very assertively not gay. But then neither was I , right? I was bi! Just don't make me prove it.

One night Christian brought back a girl who worked across the street at the Whataburger and they did some fooling around on the forest green papasan couch in the little apartment we shared. (I just had to throw in the forest green papasan couch to really set the period. That was so 1993.)

They had tried to have sex the night before but all the acid they had dropped led to her vagina becoming a scary monster and they had to stop. He was determined they would fuck that night.

She was a pretty blonde girl with nice boobs. I think she was about our age although she was married and had recently had a baby a couple months earlier. It also seems like they were both on coke that night and I was still just saying no.

They were making out on the couch while I sat pretending to read across the room. Suddenly she got it in her head that I might be fun to play with, undoubtedly due to all the coke they were snorting. She kept trying to get me to kiss her and of course I did not want the same thing.

At that time I was still holding onto a strong sense of insecurity disguised as morals. and used that as my excuse to turn her down. I kept pointing out the ring on her finger as the reason I didn't want to do anything. If she wasn't married I'd be fucking her this way from Sunday, but I don't mess around with married women. Uh..yeah...did I even believe that?

Well this girl played hardball and refused to have sex with Christian unless I would come over and kiss her. This set a fire under his butt to get me to hurry up and put my tongue in her mouth.

Finally I gave into the peer pressure, I usually did. It was a combination of Christian slyly flirting with me and gently touching me, but kind of on the down low, and the song that was playing on the stereo. It was "Touch Me" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." That song successfully unleashed my evil twin and he decided that he could take a crack at this girl

.

So I started kissing her while Susan Sarranden proclaimed her need to feel dirty and before I knew it clothes were coming off. That was generally the pattern with me then. Christian and I had started with a kiss in his car and in light speed my lips were wrapped around his cock. The same principal was working here except my mouth was sucking on a girls nipple this time.

A lot of it is kind of a blur. I remember it was difficult to get hard until I focused on Christian's dick and managed to get a few forbidden touches of his body when she was otherwise occupied and that did the trick. Although it was hard to get hard, once I was it felt really nice being inside of her. I remember she also made a lot more noise when I was fucking her than when he was, which I took some pride in. I remember that after years of preaching safe sex to my friends that were actually sexually active that none of us even thought of using a condom. I know we both cam in her. so there's the weird soap opera chance I have a kid out there...but since I don't live on "Days of Our Lives" I kind of doubt it.

One major point that stands out in my memory is that while I can enjoy kissing a girl and even like playing with her tits, that I can not force myself to go down on here. I tried. I'm not sure if I even got as far as tasting it, but my mouth was back up to her inoffensive breasts faster than you can say lickety split...which is just what Christian kept doing. Licking her...well her split. lol. He seemed to like it so I didn't return down there. Ever again.

It was a good experience. I'm glad I did it once. But like eating escargot or trying heroin it wasn't an experience I ever want to repeat again

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