Um...I didn't make it up..but I answered the questions honestly/
1...What was Captain Hook's name before it was Captain Hook? He was Captain Palmolive because he had such Beautiful hands and he always soaked in Palmolive and he was known for miles around as the guy with the cutest darn hands you've ever seen.
2...What was the Big Bad Wolf's occupation? I don't know what you want to call it, but his job was mainly to blow. He was always talking about this job he had to get to, or that blow job he was doing in 20 minutes.
3...Why didn't the Queen in Snow White have a name? You mean Cheryl? She has a name. That's little ol Cheryl Ann Rutabaga. We were good friends until those dwarfs got a hold of her. Vicious things those dwarfs.
T4...Why did Cruella De Vil prefer Dalmatians? Isn't it obvious? Dalmatians are only like the sexiest thing on 4 legs. Hot.
5...Which was the Queen Of Hearts favorite card? That my friend is where the tragedy lies. The queen of Hearts hate cards, card games, gambling of any sort. You see, in this end she mostly hated herself. Oh and that bitch Alice. Ohhhhh she hated that little shemale. Oh you didn't know? Alice was a chick with a dick.
6...What drove the Mad Hatter insane? If you stop and think about it, maybe he is the sane one. Maybe. But it was kind of weird for him to chop all those people up and serve them at tea parties. And he was always on PCP, that stuff goes to your head.
7...How did the Headless Horseman lose his head? Oh he has one. It's just so much smaller than the other boys that it didn't really make a difference.
8...Why wouldn't Peter Pan grow up? Peter Pan did grow up, kind sir. He was making a fortune as a hustler to the …you know..the Pedos….they bought his whole never growing up act and paid out the nose. That Peter was one sick son of a bitch.But he made a real good potato salad
9...What common household object would you turn into in Beast's castle?
Don't turn into a candle stick…take my word for it. The beast is one wild sex animal, but that Belle is twice as bad. That girl is a sex pervert and there ain't nothing remotely phallic shaped safe in their house.
10...How did the Seven Dwarf's get their nicknames? Lets see. Grumpy was always coming off some drug binge or another and that come down can be kinda yucky. Dopey, well he never came down a day in his life that boy was always high. Oohh weel he was . I saw him drink a whole case of cough surup once and try to shoot up some Red Bull. God he was retarded. Um..Doc was always pretending to be a Obgyn and tricking the girls at the Dr's office he set up. Lordy did he get in some trouble back in '86 I believe. That was a mess. Sleepy was a heroin junkie. Sneezy, poor thing was dying of some kind of Cancer. That was a mean nickname if you ask me. Which were the other ones? Snoopy , that was his real name.
11...Did scientists name the last planet 'Pluto' after the disney dog? They named a big rock after the disney dog, but that wan't a planet. Size does matter sometimes .
12...Why is Mickey Mouse's voice so high? He thinks he should have been born a girl mouse.hes one of those transsexuals…or transvestites, or trans gender. Either way he takes drugs to sounds like a girl and he has the nicest rack I've ever seen on a mouse. Or any rodent for that matter.
13...Which did Alice prefer: Eat Me or Drink Me? She preferred to dick slap above anything with that huge cock she had. That Alive was a shemale.!!
14...How long did Pinoccio's nose grow? He says 10 inches, but it wasn't a bit over 6.5. We were close one night and I know.
15...What did Cinderella lose after the ball? It wasn't her virginity like she claims. That girl had been twiddled and twadelled by every straight man in Fairytown. And for cheap too. Lordy.
16...Why does Donald Duck wear no pants? he was obviously an exhibitionist. Him and Daisy used to get off on an audience while they were ducking. I didn't complain.
17...How did Bambi's mother die? Auto asphyxiation.She used to masturbate with plastic bags around her head more than any deer i've ever met.
18...What made Quisimodo attractive to Esmerelda? She was a pervet. She liked to get high and have sex with the poor retards. She was a sick bitch she was.
19...How does Winnie The Pooh smell? Like stinky butt. With a hint of honey.
20...Why was Tinkerbell the only female in Neverland? That girl didn't want to share. I've seen her in action. Damn was she insatiable. I'm gay and I even got some of that .
21...What were The Three Pigs names? I just remember the one ….Dick Cheney.?
22...What did Sleeping Beauty dream about? accidentally going to school naked without studying for the big test. And falling.
23...What was Robin Hood's first theft? that bastard took my virginity. He did leave me a nice bag of gold though. Nice fellow.
24...What made Goofy, goofy? His mother drank a lot . He has fetal alcohol syndrome. You shouldn't make fun. Its amazing what he can do considering .
25...What was Prince Charming's worst habit? He listened to a lot of crapy music. He loed Celine Dion. Oh, and he used to always leave little trimmings of his pubic hair all over the place when he visited. He was fucked up.