Saturday, July 14, 2007

A quid pro quo

2:16 PM - A quid pro quo
Current mood: contemplative

The idea that I represent the "gay community" for some people has always been kind of weird. On one hand, it appeals to the Gemini in me that in certain circles I am considered exotic, scandalous, risqué and a curiosity. I even sometimes wear the badge of slut/deviant/ perv with pride. Thinking of myself as some dangerous x rated soap opera villain is a lot more appealing to me than the virginal Sandra Dee that the audience is supposed to root for.
I've never really hung out with gay men in friendship type situations. For the most part I have a lot of close straight female friends (my best friend is a lesbian) and for many of them I was the only gay person they knew. I remember when I worked weekend doubles at a nursing home in McMinnville some of the girls (well, women. mostly my mom's age) would be fascinated with my exploits during the week. I was in a totally different world and had much more interesting and naughty stories to tell during our long weekends together. I enjoyed shocking them with such a tame story as going on stage and losing my pants and underwear for beads during Portland's Mardi Gras week and seeing how truly crazy they thought I was. But it feels creepy thinking about how that story might be retold later as a case study in the life of the typical homosexual. ("They like to get naked in public with all the other gays. My gay friend Brandon does")

I remember a couple years ago being kind of overly upset because a hot ex Mormon boy I had a weekend of excess with had moved onto someone I had introduced him too. (I have a fetish for ex Mormon boys. The few I have had the pleasure to know still had all the politeness and wholesome appearance but were the wildest beasts when you got them naked) I was telling my co-worker Vicky about it and she just couldn't keep up with the important details of the story. She would get stuck on aspects that I found to be minor details and I was losing patience explaining them.
"You had sex the first night you met?" She gasped. ..
"He had sex with you and then with another guy the same day!!" she exclaimed, her eyes bulging.
Forget it!
Sometimes it feels like people in different subcultures are foreigners with ways different than my own. I would rather they be the curious picture snapping tourists than self righteous moralizer, but it can be tedious.
Usually though, it doesn't upset me.It's more funny than anything. I wrote a blog a couple months ago that got the attention of someone that has become my favorite myspace blogger and she pimped it out to her huge circle of friends.(shout out to all that). It was one of those 7 deadly turnoff's blogs and thankfully it caught her attention which led to a quite a few others making connections with me. I bring it up because I found it amusing that I got the comment frequently that it was nice to read about another perspective and that it was enlightening to get the gay perspective on these things. The funny part is how disturbing the idea that I be a representative would probably be for any number of people in the gay community. I don't bring this up to call out anyone who said that or that feels like that. It's just a disclaimer that I may be a representative for some people, but I'm not the GLBT community's official representative. At least not yet
It's just a curiosity I am musing on today. It has actually brought up a lot of ideas I want to blog about, and I'm finding it hard to reign them all into one cohesive blog, so I think I'm going to break it up into a few topics. And since I'm on a blogging roll look for them real soon. I just want to explore the ideas of subgroups, the differences between us, and what we can learn from each other . A quid pro quo if you will. Oh yeah...I have a few things I want to find out too. Don't think you just get to be a voyeur in all this. I like to watch too. Remember , I'm a deviant perv. And proud of it.

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