I'm a crazy work of fiction)
Let me preface this first sentence of the personal blog of Zeke Z, thats me, by saying that I'm not one to seek attention. I'm not an attention seeker in any sense of the word. I have debated whether or not I should even do this whole blogging thing and every way it works out I realize that it is not important what I want...but what the world needs.And as much as I dislike bragging and personal acclaim of any kind, thats not a good enough reason to withhold my much needed voice from the world. I am doing this for you, yes you! Your often deafening demand for the personal blog of Zeke Z was too hard to ignore, and even though I completely dread with every fiber of my being all the hoopla and the eventual stalking by the paparazzi I am prepared to make that sacrifice.
I hesitate to even introduce myself, because so many of you must know who I am. But then I reminded myself that blogging is an international past time and people over there in Bangledash don't even have clean water without shit in it. They don't even know about the recent troubles of Ms. Brittney Spears. They probably think Justin and Cameron are still a couple, for Gods sake. Do they even know Brad and Angelina? OK, I'm starting to talk crazy now, everybody knows Brad and Angelina.
But lets get back to me. I am Zeke Z. Remember that name, cuz it's going to be worth money someday. Unless I just start going by Z. Either way remember the letter Z. Z as in...ZZZ. you know..the sound people make in the cartoons when they are sleeping.
WHOA! Forget that last part, I don't want to be associated with putting people to sleep. Anyway, I am the number 2 go go boy at Peckers, downtown and of course I host the cable access sensation "Zeke a go go" on cable access channel 214. You've seen it.
The number 1 go go boy at Peckers, by the way, is Ridge Ranger. Lame name right? What kind of name is Ridge Rangers? It sounds like a gay cowboy soap opera name. I don't mean to talk bad about him though. I don't want to give you the impression that I'm jealous, or mean spirited. I adore Ridge Rangers..hehe..I can't say that name with a straight face though. Ridge is really really great. The main reason he is number 1 is because he has been there so so so long and besides its only right to respect our elders. Ridge is an elder and I wouldn't feel right if I had the meaningless title of number 1 over him anyway. I mean, if you take a look at the back fat that is just around the corner from popping up or the huge pores in his face that it seems like I'm the only one who can see, then you know his time is ticking by fast. But I love Ridge. He's a real friend. I just hope that I don't start running my mouth off and let secrets slip in this blog that may hurt his business. Not that theres anything I could say that would threaten his spot at number 1. I mean, nobody cares if he can't ever get fully hard without pills and potions. Or that I heard he is a sex offender. This is the 20th century people, get over it. The only thing i wouldn't really want to have get out is the fact that Ridge isn't really gay. His customers who continually make him the number one go go boy at Peckers would not take too kindly if they found out that he thinks they are gross and is totally faking all that absurd attention he gives each and every one of them. It's not like he told me that he is straight, but I can tell. And I don't enjoy being lied to, Mr. Ridge Rogers. Or Ridge Rangers or whatever. hehe what a silly name.
Well I need to get running. It's my spot up next and you don't want to know what would happen if I was too keep my fans waiting. They go nuts for me, literally. But what I like best about them is the fact that they don't disrespect Ridge and make it obvious that they like me better. But I know. Oh I know.
If you didn't know me it would look like I just came on here to trash my best friend and fellow dancer, but we both know thats not true. Ridge is my mentor. He has been doing this for so so so long. He is like the Bea Arthur of go go boys. hehe boys. Technically I don't think you can call Ridge a boy in any sense of the word. Not once you took a good look at those crows feet. Oh Boy! But I really do respect and honer him and I would be a complete mess if anything were to happen to him.If he were to trip right off the stage like that bitch from Showgirls, my favorite move, I would have a coronary. That would put me right at number one, and I really don't enjoy too much attention. Not when it should go to my soul brother Ridge Rogers or whatever. I mean, he doesn't have much longer before somebody will need to put him out to pasture. He's at least 25 for God's sake, and with all the drugs he snorts up his nose he looks more like 40. Did you know he can put a handkerchief up one nostril and pull it out the other? I know . gross.
Well, come down to Peckers downtown location and show me your support. I will be back to tell you all about my life and loves and ambition. Not everything is about Ridge Rogers. Next time it will be all about me, aren't you relieved?