Saturday, March 10, 2007

an interview with a porn star

An interview with A porn star....

OK..maybe he's not a porn star, but he has appeared in two adult films. Our subject is a handsome guy who carries himself with confidence and appears to be in his thirties. It's not an exaggeration to say he is pretty popular with Portland's gay ho's...er men...with Portland's gay men. He is sexual, romantic, loyal and passionate. I am interviewing my partner in crime..let call him Dane. or Rain. Just to make it easy we can pretend his name is Cain...hehe.

Jankey B- Hello Cain, I'm glad you could take some time to answer a few questions. Before we start I just wanted to say its a pleasure and judging from your hot and altogether delightful boyfriend you must be a man of taste.

Here we go. If your life was a 3 song Mash up what would those songs be?

Cain- 1.Sheryl Crow's "If it makes you happy":
2. Smash Mouth "Dancing on the sun"
3. Loue Reed "Walk on the Wildside

JB- You are getting a once in a lifetime chance for a super sex party. You must invite 2 porn stars, 2 historical figures, 2 fictional characters and 2 cartoon characters, one of whom is human and one who is not. Who do you invite and where do you have the party?

Cain- The two porn stars would be Johnny Hardon and JoeyStefano. Joey was one of the first power bottoms.He got fucked but he was the aggressive one and he got what he wanted. He killed himself in real life actually.

When I was first coming out I thought Johnny Hardon was really hot. I really had sex with him once at a club in LA when I was 21 or 22. He has a huge cock. He put my legs together and just kinda fucked between my legs because there was no way he was fucking me with that thing.
The cartoon characters would be ...Plastic Man would be the human. He can twist in all kinds of hot positions. You could twist him every which way but loose. He is bendable and accommodating.
The non-human would be Marvin the Martin.I just know he gives an excellent blowjob.
The other 2 fictional characters would be The Incredible Hulk and Peter from Heros.
The 2 historical figures would be Alexander the Great, as long as he looks like Colin Ferrel and the other would be Ronald Regan, because I would want to see him get fucked by the Incredible Hulk.

JB- If your life were a soap opera would it be daytime or prime time? What would it be called? What was your most memorable story line so far this year?

Cain- It would be a daytime soap because they are much longer running. I've been pushing the envelope with the Neilsons for a long time now. I would call it "Oceans of the Sea" because that makes zero sense. (note= Oceans of the Sea is the name of a game my cousins would play when we were kids that I told the subject about thus giving him the chance to steal it from me!).
As far as story, its been a depressing year for me except for one thing. I found a new love interest by the name of ...Zeke. (note- the subject continues teasing me about the name of the said love interest...its me. it better be me.)

JB- If you were given one superpower what would it be?

Cain-Bend people to my will. Like that girl from Hero's. People would have to do what I said. Super Persuasion. You have to come to my house and get naked....

JB-If you were a girl for one whole day what what would you like to experience?

Cain- How bout a college football varsity after game gang bang. That would be different.

JB-Have you ever punched anyone?
Cain- yes. I got in a fight in high school. I don't remember what it was over, but nobody won. They pulled us apart and turned us into the principle's office.

JB-Do you have any guilty pleasures? I like the Carpenters. But I think a lot of people like the Carpenters. I kinda like the Neve ending Story, because I'm certain the actor who played the Aturu grew up to be fucking hot.

JB-Which horror movie villian would you be most scared of running into?

Cain- I suppose Charles Nelson Reilly, because I have nightmares of running into him at a gay bathhouse.


JB
-What turns you on?
Cain- Making out with my partner.

JB-Oh..how trite. Now why don't you tell us what really turns you on Cain...if thats your real name. Which it's not, because we changed it to protect the semi innocent. What other things or qualities turn you on?

Cain- smooth twinks with a hot ass. Well you asked. I also like red heads with fire bush.

JB-What really turns you off?

Cain- Men don't make passes at boys with dirty stinky asses.

JB- Your quite the poet. Anything else Ms. Angelou?

Cain-um..

JB-or does everything excite you?

Cain-People who fall asleep and start snoring in the middle of watching porn...

JB- I never did that. Lets move on..

JB-Pick one....(highlight the answer)
a.The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
b. sunrise or sunset?
c Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin?
d.Make love or Fuck? depends on who it is with
e.Looney Tunes or Disney?
f.stick shift or automatic?
g, Mom or Dad?\
h. Virgin or Whore?
i.sweet or sour?

JB- Which gay steriotype is true about you?
Cain- the one about being oversexed

JB-From today on you must lead a life of major repetition.You can only have one choice among the categories I ask about. For example if I saw color...it means what color would you wear everyday for the rest of your life avoiding all others is the question.Ready?
a.cuisine- Ethiopian
b.TV show- which would get least boring in reruns- ER
c.sexual act- ass eating
d.group or artist- Miles Davis
e.website- Manhunt
f-porn movie- something like Dawson's 60 Load Weekend. It has something for everyone. JB- Finally...anything you want to ask me?

Cain-Do you still feel the same way about me after reading my answers?

JB- If your wondering whether I'm going to change the locks and file a restraining order then the answer is a strong maybe. I'll think about it. But for now...we have like 3 days to move and we're wasting out time on myspace and blogger again!! Damn this crack that is blogging.



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