Sex with Captain Caveman interview

An interview with my boyfriends friend with benefits who helped us move today Part I

or

SEX WITH CAPTAIN CAVEMAN?!?

Today while we were going through the horrible process of moving I kept my mind on other things by interviewing Dexter, someone who my bf gets together with sometimes who was awesome enough to help with the move. Dexter is in good looking black male in his early 30's. He is also helpful with a big and confident personality. And self proclaimed "wise, passive aggressive, loyal and dominating, but not overly". We had never met before today. The bf was a little concerned with me grilling him for info…what kind of info I don't know, but I kept the questions away from anything weird. Well, that depends on what you consider weird. I think they are perfectly normal questions, but you decide.

Jankey B- I'll start out with any easy getting to know you kinda question. Lets say you are throwing a super sex party. You can invite 2 historical people, 2 fictional character and 2 cartoon characters, one of whom can't be human.

Dexter- For historical I would have Hercules…

JB- I think that's fictional. But he fits here. Who else?

Dexter- who was that guy Brad Pitt played in Troy? Achilles. For fictional character I'll do The Borg and Captain America. For Cartoon character I'd pick Jessica Rabbit.

JB- And for the second cartoon character?You have to pick one non human. And don't try any trick answers like the whole wishing for more wishes. You can't pick superman because he isn't officially human.

After trying to come up with a good alien character he decided on Captain Caveman.....

JB-If your life were a 3 song mash-up what 3 songs would you pick?

Dexter- "I want your sex" George Michael

"You Sexy Motherfucker" Prince

"Pretty Young Thing" Michael Jackson

JB- If you were on death row what would be your last meal?

Dexter- Can I just get some protein from the hot guard? Ok…I'd get some jambalaya

B- What superhero would you want to be and how would you use your power?

Dexter- Green Lantern... I would use my powers to the fullest extent; you know what I'm saying. I would use them for good of course. And to avenge against all the people who have wronged me. ..And intimidation.

JB-Who is the hottest superhero?

Dexter- Wonder Woman.

B- This or That? Highlight the choice you like best out of the two given.

Beatles or Rolling Stones

Sunrise or Sunset

Lindsay Lohan or Hillary Duff

Rape or Plunder

Slut or Whore

Looney Tunes or Disney

Mom or Dad

Lets take a break while you figure out what your going to say to all the poor Looney Tunes whores and your own father when they read this. We'll be right back.

Buffy Saved my LIfe --interview

Interview With one of my partners F@#K Buddies Part II
or

"Buffy Saved My Life!!"

JB-If you were a woman for a day what would you want to experience?

Dexter- Giving birth. Then no one would be able to say I don't know what that feels like.

At this point Cain, Dex and I were discussing the movie Arnold Schwateneger was in where he was pregnant. Here he says how he really likes Arnold because when he used to be an autograph seeker he called to Arnold from the other side of the street and Arnie came back over and shook his hand and signed his autograph. Then Cain and Dexter got into a discussion about Arnold and Politics, which I won't report here. That would make this a political blog and then my boyfriend would probably read it religiously.

JB-What are your favorite autographs you collected?

Dexter-
The lead singer of Living Color
Liberace
Muhammad Ali

JB- whose autograph would you like?

Dexter-

Alyssa Milano.

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Quincy Jones

Johnny Depp

Ricky Schroeder

JB- do you have any guilty pleasures?

Dexter- I don't really have much guilt.

JB- I mean do you really like something that is a little embarrassing or something like that.

Dexter- I'm not embarrassed. My favorite show is Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

(Here we get into an animated discussion about the coolness and smart writing that is, or was, Buffy. It's my favorite show as well and the fact that he won't watch it is probably the thing I argue with Cain about the most. Dexter goes on to recount how he was depressed for a long time until one day, he was walking through the living room and noticed a show his roommate was watching. He likes special effects and something happening on the screen caught his attention. Yes friends that show was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

Dexter- I was depressed for like 2 years, and I never get depressed. After watching Buffy I got out of the house, felt good, it brought me out of my depression. (Another innocent young life saved by Buffy Summers). I went to school with Charisma Carpenter (she played Cordellia on Buffy)..

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JB- I work at a video store and we have employee picks shelfs. If you had your own shelf what movies would be on it? (FYI- I have a teen movie theme on my shelf as of last night. My movie pics are Heathers, Dazed and Confused, Sixteen Candles, Lost Boys, Mean Girls and I think Saved. The Breakfast Club and High School Musical were checked out).

Dexter-

Heathers (wow, me too...)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory , the original

Escape from Witch Mountain

Dazed and Confused (second Wow)

Dogma

JB- What horror movie villain would you be most scared to run into?

Dexter- Freddy Kruger.

JB- Which one do you think you could take. Or at least escape from?

Dexter- Leprechaun.

JB- If you could be any other sign besides your own (Scorpio) what would it be?

Dexter- Leo. They are confident and sexy.

JB- Which would you not want to be ever?

Dexter-I guess Aries.

(He couldn't say Gemini or Virgo because Cain and I were in the car with him.)

JB- What's your favorite word?

Dexter-Probably dude. It used to be debonair.

JB- Which stereotypes about being black and/or gay are true for you?

Dexter- (for Black) I can dance.

(for gay) I don't fit most gay stereotypes (that's what every gay person says…)

I don't like to get dirty. And I'm fierce.

JB- Are their any races or ethnic groups you have never fooled around with?

Dexter- I'm pretty universal.

(here are a few other quotes that weren't interview related Dexter was overheard saying throughout the day….)

--"You can do whatever you want. Just don't get caught if it's illegal." (said to Cain who asked if he could turn left somewhere.)

--"I've always loved Dr. Ruth"..

--"Dreams are what movies are made out of."

JB- Thank you for answering my questions and thanks for the help moving. I got what i came here for. This interview is over!

an interview with a porn star

An interview with A porn star....

OK..maybe he's not a porn star, but he has appeared in two adult films. Our subject is a handsome guy who carries himself with confidence and appears to be in his thirties. It's not an exaggeration to say he is pretty popular with Portland's gay ho's...er men...with Portland's gay men. He is sexual, romantic, loyal and passionate. I am interviewing my partner in crime..let call him Dane. or Rain. Just to make it easy we can pretend his name is Cain...hehe.

Jankey B- Hello Cain, I'm glad you could take some time to answer a few questions. Before we start I just wanted to say its a pleasure and judging from your hot and altogether delightful boyfriend you must be a man of taste.

Here we go. If your life was a 3 song Mash up what would those songs be?

Cain- 1.Sheryl Crow's "If it makes you happy":
2. Smash Mouth "Dancing on the sun"
3. Loue Reed "Walk on the Wildside

JB- You are getting a once in a lifetime chance for a super sex party. You must invite 2 porn stars, 2 historical figures, 2 fictional characters and 2 cartoon characters, one of whom is human and one who is not. Who do you invite and where do you have the party?

Cain- The two porn stars would be Johnny Hardon and JoeyStefano. Joey was one of the first power bottoms.He got fucked but he was the aggressive one and he got what he wanted. He killed himself in real life actually.

When I was first coming out I thought Johnny Hardon was really hot. I really had sex with him once at a club in LA when I was 21 or 22. He has a huge cock. He put my legs together and just kinda fucked between my legs because there was no way he was fucking me with that thing.
The cartoon characters would be ...Plastic Man would be the human. He can twist in all kinds of hot positions. You could twist him every which way but loose. He is bendable and accommodating.
The non-human would be Marvin the Martin.I just know he gives an excellent blowjob.
The other 2 fictional characters would be The Incredible Hulk and Peter from Heros.
The 2 historical figures would be Alexander the Great, as long as he looks like Colin Ferrel and the other would be Ronald Regan, because I would want to see him get fucked by the Incredible Hulk.

JB- If your life were a soap opera would it be daytime or prime time? What would it be called? What was your most memorable story line so far this year?

Cain- It would be a daytime soap because they are much longer running. I've been pushing the envelope with the Neilsons for a long time now. I would call it "Oceans of the Sea" because that makes zero sense. (note= Oceans of the Sea is the name of a game my cousins would play when we were kids that I told the subject about thus giving him the chance to steal it from me!).
As far as story, its been a depressing year for me except for one thing. I found a new love interest by the name of ...Zeke. (note- the subject continues teasing me about the name of the said love interest...its me. it better be me.)

JB- If you were given one superpower what would it be?

Cain-Bend people to my will. Like that girl from Hero's. People would have to do what I said. Super Persuasion. You have to come to my house and get naked....

JB-If you were a girl for one whole day what what would you like to experience?

Cain- How bout a college football varsity after game gang bang. That would be different.

JB-Have you ever punched anyone?
Cain- yes. I got in a fight in high school. I don't remember what it was over, but nobody won. They pulled us apart and turned us into the principle's office.

JB-Do you have any guilty pleasures? I like the Carpenters. But I think a lot of people like the Carpenters. I kinda like the Neve ending Story, because I'm certain the actor who played the Aturu grew up to be fucking hot.

JB-Which horror movie villian would you be most scared of running into?

Cain- I suppose Charles Nelson Reilly, because I have nightmares of running into him at a gay bathhouse.


JB-What turns you on?
Cain- Making out with my partner.

JB-Oh..how trite. Now why don't you tell us what really turns you on Cain...if thats your real name. Which it's not, because we changed it to protect the semi innocent. What other things or qualities turn you on?

Cain- smooth twinks with a hot ass. Well you asked. I also like red heads with fire bush.

JB-What really turns you off?

Cain- Men don't make passes at boys with dirty stinky asses.

JB- Your quite the poet. Anything else Ms. Angelou?

Cain-um..

JB-or does everything excite you?

Cain-People who fall asleep and start snoring in the middle of watching porn...

JB- I never did that. Lets move on..

JB-Pick one....(highlight the answer)
a.The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
b. sunrise or sunset?
c Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin?
d.Make love or Fuck? depends on who it is with
e.Looney Tunes or Disney?
f.stick shift or automatic?
g, Mom or Dad?\
h. Virgin or Whore?
i.sweet or sour?

JB- Which gay steriotype is true about you?
Cain- the one about being oversexed

JB-From today on you must lead a life of major repetition.You can only have one choice among the categories I ask about. For example if I saw color...it means what color would you wear everyday for the rest of your life avoiding all others is the question.Ready?
a.cuisine- Ethiopian
b.TV show- which would get least boring in reruns- ER
c.sexual act- ass eating
d.group or artist- Miles Davis
e.website- Manhunt
f-porn movie- something like Dawson's 60 Load Weekend. It has something for everyone. JB- Finally...anything you want to ask me?

Cain-Do you still feel the same way about me after reading my answers?

JB- If your wondering whether I'm going to change the locks and file a restraining order then the answer is a strong maybe. I'll think about it. But for now...we have like 3 days to move and we're wasting out time on myspace and blogger again!! Damn this crack that is blogging.

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