Thursday, May 3, 2007

7 Deadly Turn Offs

Thursday, May 03, 2007

My 7 Deadly Turn Offs!

It's sex blog Thursday. This week you can go to the sex index being hosted by All That
OK, you didn't ask for it but I'm giving it to you anyway. Here are my 7 deadly turn-offs. Being as I'm gay and all that there will be some gay content.

1. There are a few gross words that really turn me off. If you ever skim the pages of any gay sex ads you are sure to find some descriptive words that are meant to get the right person all hot, and apparently I am not the target audience because they usually do the opposite for me. Hairy low hangers, big German helmet and veiney shaft are pretty common descriptions of the cock and/or balls that defiantly don't make me hard. On the other end I hate the words mangina, man pussy, boy pussy, etc. I'm gay. If I wanted a pussy I would go to the real thing and not to the boy version of it. When I was 21 someone tried to set me up with a very nice, very rich and very inexperienced closeted gay possible sugar daddy who once referred to his penis as his pee pee. Although he was 30 years older than me it made me feel like a pedophile. yuck.

2. Arrogance is another big turnoff for me.

I lot of guys are really into being with other guys that think they are all that and take what they want and so on. I admit that it can be fun for me in a role play situation, but I hate the real thing. I don't respond to guys who feel they need to inform you of the fact that they are VGL(very good looking) instead of trusting you to make that decision for yourself. It's funny because my partner's manhunt ad(a gay sex site) just drips with sexual arrogance. To paraphrase its all like " I just want to use your hole and fuck you and I don't care what you want because its all about me getting off" I was so scared to meet him because of that ad because I'm not about being submissive or used. Anytime I've tried to role play as that kind of character I've ended up being the mouthy, smart ass punk that needs to be taught a lesson..which I never seem to learn. Anyway...if it wasn't for Cain's pictures being so damned hot I would have gone with my apprehension and never met him thus never living this fairy tale (pun intended) life we live. heh. So thank god for my shallowness. it turns out arrogance is on the top of a lot of people's turn on list judging by how fucking popular Cain's ad is. It seems like a lot of the hottest guys around want nothing more than to be used for asspumper's (his screen name on that site) pleasure. I wonder if he's going to take issue with being an example on this list?

3. Lazy bottoms.
For those of you who don't speak gay sex lingo a bottom is the guy getting fucked. The three main categories one might fall into are top, bottom and versatile. Some guys just have this need to get fucked and fucked and cum on and fucked again and can never get enough. They sometimes refer to themselves as power bottoms. Thats all good and I have had some fun in the past fulfilling their never ending appetite for cock, but it sucks when you have to do all the damn work. The person being fucked can be just as active a participant if not more active in the whole process as the person on the other end. Theres no reason the bottom should just lay there only contributing by making noises and never breaking a sweat while the guy on top is pumping and grinding and doing position changes just to hear the bottom complaining not to stop when he needs to take a breather or get heat stroke. OK, that started getting ranty, but the point is that its hot when both (or more) partners are actively involved.

4. Low self esteem. We all have times where we don't feel super hot and I hate it when someone over presents themselves and you end up meeting someone that resembles Don Imus instead of the Colin Ferrel you were expecting, but the self haters can be just as bad. It is not hot when someone is ashamed of their bodies, is trying hard to cover parts they don't like or is apologizing for stuff. Constant apologies in any part of life annoy the shit out of me, but in bed...come on. I wouldn't be having sex with you if I wasn't turned least for free. heh. Drawing attention to what you perceive as your defects just serves to put a spotlight on them and it might just convince the person your having sex with that maybe you aren't that hot. If there is something "weird" that will be a surprise to someone, by all means disclose it and not keep it a surprise, but don't obsess on it.

5. gross smells. I know as a culture we are obsessed with smells. There is a product out there to eliminate every possible human smell that might be coming off of you, but not all smells are bad. A lot of guys have a natural smell that is damned hot, especially if you are both working up a sweat together. But there are also some smells that aren't so hot. I won't go into detail here, but if your going to be involving the ass in your sex life you gotta come ready to play. Unless you have discussed the fact that you like things raunchy assume the other guy in fact likes things clean. There's no bigger turn off than stinky butt.

6. Being boring. The term vanilla is used to describe regular nothing out of the ordinary sex. That kind of sex can be awesome and sometimes its what you need to hit that proverbial spot. But I can get really turned on by things that are a bit (or a lot) kinkier. Are you a little bit pervy? hot. Wanna do it somewhere other than the bedroom in the missionary position? Awesome. There are only a few things on my NEVER list and they are pretty extreme. Even if I'm not into it at all, there's almost nothing hotter than someone revealing to you some dirty kinky fantasy or experience(I like dirty truth or dare). I like having secrets. And maybe its because I find it pretty easy to talk about "taboos" and rarely judge, but people tell me some shit! I could have blackmail material on a good many people if I was so inclined. I'm not.

7. Clones. My pet name for a type of clone are the Amberzombies and Bitches. Yeah, sometimes they may be hot and their bodies might be rockin' but unless there is more there it gets boring mighty fast. When everybody looks the same, and dresses the same while listening to the same music and texting on their same cell phones...blah. It usually has the same result in the bedroom. Some of the "hottest" guys I've ever had sex with would not be on the list for hottest sex I've ever had. Especially if they think they are so hot and entitled that their mere presence is all they need to bring. Yeah, I get hard looking at some of those guys, but theres a whole attitude that often comes with the package that isn't hot. Lucky for me my guy is hot, kinky and could never be accused of just laying there.

Was that 7? OK. Cool. There you go. But I'm a Gemini, so my turnoff today could be my turn on tomorrow. Thats why I don't like to put strong opinions in writing because I hate it when they are used against me when my flaky self changes his mind.

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