Monday, April 2, 2007


The Fucking Disclaimer

If you are offended by the use of bad language fuck off now! Don't read all of this page and then say it annoys you.

Uses of the word Fuck

FUCK is an international word. It doesn't matter where you
are in the world, everyone knows exactly what you mean when you say
"Fuck Off".

It's the atmosphere it creates, that's why you will never read something like:

"Fuck off", he hinted.

Grammatical Usage

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories, making it one of the most versatile words in the English language.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Jane) and
intransitive (John and Jane fucked). It can be an active verb
(John fucked Jane) or a passive verb (Jane was fucked by John).
Or an adverb (Jane is a fucking bastard) and
a noun (Jane is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an
adjective (Jane is fucking beautiful).

Further Structures

As you can see there are few words with the versatility of "fuck".
Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to
describe many situations.

"Motherfucking fuckers!"

Greetings"How the fuck are you?"
Fraud"I was fucked by the McDonalds Drive Through."
Dismay"Oh, fuck it."
Trouble"Well, I guess I'm fucked again."
Aggression"Fuck you!!!"
Disgust"Fuck me!!!"
Confusion, Curiosity or Disbelief"What the fuck....?"
Diffuclty"I don't understand this fucking thing."
Despair"Fucked again."
Good Job"Congratufuckinglations."
Incompetence"He fucks up everything."
Disappointment"This fucking fucker is fucked."
Intelligence"He's a fucking genius."
Dismissal"Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?"
Displeasure"What the fuck is going on?"
Lost"Where the fuck are we?"
Retaliation"Up your fucking ass!!!"
Laziness"He's just a fuck-off."
Pain"Fuck ! that hurt."
Pleasure"Oooooooh Fuuuuuuck"
Love"Do ya Fuck on first dates?"
Starting a relationship"Let's fuck now!"
Surprise"Fucking hell what was that?"
Admiration"Nice fucking tits!"
Stupid person"Dumbfuck!"
Hate"You Fuck!"
Condemnation"Fuck that shit!"
Disappointment"That's not fucking fair."
A poker hand"A Royal Fuck."
Ignorant person"Fuckstick."
Denial"I didn't fucking do it."
Perplexity"I know fuck all about it."
Apathy"Who gives a fuck."
Confusion"What the fuck just happened?"
Resignation"Oh fuck it."
Suspicion"Who the fuck are you?"
Panic"Let's get the fuck out of here!"
Directions"Fuck off."
Sex"Let's fuck."
Ambiguity"I'm not so fucking sure."
Questioning Authority"Who the fuck do you think you are?"
Hypocrisy"Don't you dare fucking swear at me you fucking fucker."
Praising the Lord"Jesus Fucking Christ."
I have a headache"Go fuck yourself."
Refusal"Oh you can fuck right off."
Pissed off"Fuck the fucking fuckers!"
Be quiet"Shut the fuck up."
You're right"Fucking oath." (Australianism)
Ostentation"He's just bought a big, fuck-off Mercedes."
Sensuousness"She was wearing a pair of red leather, fuck-me boots."
Confidence"Fuckin' A."
Impressed"That was fucking amazing."

Oral sex after 30 years of marriage"Fuck you!" (while passing each other in the hall)
Apathy"I don't give a fuck."
Bewilderment or Ignorance"Fucked if I know."
Enraged"I'm gonna fuck you up!"
Annoyance"Fuck off, fucker."
Annoyance"For fuck's sake."
Pissed off"Fuck you, you fucking fuck."
Tardiness"It's ten-fucking-thirty already?"
Broken down motorcycle"Sir, the fucking fucker has fucked up on me.
Professional appraisal of mechanical failure"It's fucked."
Calling someone"Oy, fuck face!"
Thanks"Fuck you very much."

Famous historical quotes

Never forget the words of these famous people.

General CusterWhere did all them fucking Indians come from?
Mayor of Hiroshima"What the fuck was that?"
Captain of the Titanic"Where's all the fucking water coming from?"
Michelangelo"You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling?"
Einstein"Any fucker could understand that."
Sean Penn"Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck"
John Lennon"Is that a real fucking gun?"
Donald Campbell"The fucking throttle is stuck."
Anne Boleyn"Heads are going to fucking roll."
Richard Nixon"Who's going to fucking know?"
Niki Lauda"I thought I could fucking smell petrol."
Mark Thatcher"What fucking map?"
Picasso"It does fucking look like her."
Christopher Columbus"Where the fuck are we?"
Michael Jackson"It's a fucking skin condition"

and more recently "I told you I didn't fucking fuck him!"
Pythagarus"How the fuck did you work that one out?"
Walt Disney"Fuck a duck."
Joan of Arc"I don't suppose it will fucking rain."
George Bush"Fcuk! I can't spell."
Miss Marples"I haven't got a fucking clue."
Noah"Scattered showers, my fucking arse."
Donald Trump"You're fucking fired!"
Judge Judy"Shut the fuck up!"
Paris Hilton"Fuck me."
Ronald Regan to the Pope"Yes it does fucking hurt."
Harold, Battle of Hastings 1066"Watch him he'll have some fucker's eye out"
John F Kennedy"Who needs that fucking bubble top?"
John F Kennedy"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head."
John F Kennedy Jr."What's wrong with this fucking altimeter?"
Bill Clinton"I should have fucked her."
Hurricane Katrina"Mardi Fuckin Gras this motherfuckers."
Leonardo da Vinci"Call that a fucking smile?"
Sir Walter Raleigh"That's another good cloack fucked!"
William Tell"Keep Fucking Still."

Some readers have pointed out that there are also some real famous fuck quotes from historical figures, such as General George Patton who among other things is noted to have said:

"I don't give a fuck for a man who's not always on his toes."
"The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the
Saturday Evening Post don't know any more about real fighting under
fire than they know about fucking!"
"We're going to murder those lousy Hun cock suckers by the bushel-fucking-basket."

Australia's Kerry Packer (for a time Australia's richest man; died
late 2005) was also very fond of the word "fuck". Perhaps his best
remembered quote followed the first time he died in 1990, after
suffering a heart attack and being clinically dead for some eight
minutes before being revived. When asked if he saw a light at the end
of a tunnel he said: "Son, there's fucking nothing there."

Australia's former Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser is believed to have said "Life wasn't meant to be fucking easy".

Mark Latham, another Australian politician had this to say about Prime Minister John Howard's trip to the U.S.A.: "Howard is an arse-licker. He went over there, kissed some bums, and got patted on the fucking head."


The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word. If by any chance you think I've missed any, please fucking let me know.

How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"?

Use it frequently in your daily speech, you will be proud and it will add to your fucking prestige and stature.

Why not say "FUCK YOU !" to someone today.

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